Notes of a try hard noob doing it for the love of the game.1

I love writing. Something about the potential in writing. Stretching out ideas, exploring, expressing them in the way that you intended, and ultimately being received in a ways you could’ve never imagined. I even love the ‘annoying’ parts like editing, I fucking love the details how the smallest thing is not the smallest thing. I’ve never really nurtured these skills though, never really committed to anything since my childhood. I closed up in a lot of important ways.2 Oh well. Such is life: running away from who we are, yearning for that which we don’t have instead of accepting embracing all that we are blessed with. I’m trying to nurture my nature instead of running away from it… Trying…

I’ll write sometimes for me, sometimes for you, sometimes for the internet. Always for the love of the game.3







Notes:

  1. I owe so much to the internet. This is inspired by all that inspires me. I’ll make a long list some day. Recently obsessed with PG’s article on great work, Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act (pairs really well with Huberman podcast, might be worth cleaning up notes and rewatching), and Karpathy’s State of GPT talk. I have so much to say, but I’m going to harness that energy. One step at a time. ↩

  2. My dumbass thought I could read and think my way to an optimal path. lol. Everyone told me I was wrong and stupid. They were right. But not entirely, my detours seem to have over time been very valuable. Take away the shame from not focusing on “the path” and I think I’m like a pig in mud. Free from school and “expectations” that never really existed, I think things are finally starting to align. All it took (lol) was for me to reject previous assumptions and most importantly stop trying to hard all. the. time. It’s stupid. Yet all that stupidity has led to a lot of lessons. Kind of cool how things work. There is no real optimal path, that feeling isn’t coming from where you think it is. We don’t have control over everything. We should try, but not expect to predict the outcome. Predicting is only constraining (though very important in the end!!). Everything depends… But I feel that we don’t have control of much, but that’s not so bad —— to have faith and to nurture all that you love —— what a blessing. All that we have to do is to be ready for the muse to find you. The rest takes care of itself. (Not going to get into awareness and meditation) ↩

  3. Not letting ‘bullshit’ get in the way of me doing what I love. Writing enables what I love. I love care and craft. I need structure for this chaos. Always comes down to the love of the game. ↩